SPARTA News
November 2015
SPARTA President’s Corner
contributed by Randy Springs
For me, it is nice to be back on Eastern Standard Time. I’m a morning person, so I like to see sunlight in the early morning hours. Social media comments this past week have people on both sides of the issue giving their arguments – some want year-long Daylight Saving Time – others want year-long Standard time. I just know it takes several weeks for my body to adjust and not wake up an hour earlier than I need to wake up. At the bank, we always use this weekend to get an extra hour for a disaster recovery test and a production system IPL. We leave all systems down except one for the time change hour so that we don’t have duplicate SMF and RMF data to contend with later. This also means that many of us on the mainframe systems team don’t get our “extra hour” of sleep that most people enjoy.
This week’s SPARTA meeting on November 3 will feature an overview of IBM Wave, a new “virtualization management solution” for z/VM and Linux on system z (we’re not supposed to call it “zLinux” anymore. I hope to see many of you there.
Randy Springs
BB&T
Future Speakers
(subject to change)
November 3, 2015 - IBM Wave for z/VM?
December 1, 2015 - What’s New in z/OS Performance and Tuning? by Randy Springs of BB&T
We need ideas and volunteers for future speakers. Presentations don’t have to be fancy, just informative and interesting. Even a 5 or 10 minute talk can start an interesting interaction. Contact Ron Pimblett by phone as noted below.
2015-2016 SPARTA
Board of Directors
Randy Springs - President
BB&T (919) 745-5241
3200 Beechleaf Court, Suite 300
Raleigh, NC 27604
Ron Pimblett - Vice President
MDI Data Systems 919-426-6518
866-634-3282
Raleigh, NC 27609
Mike Lockey - Secretary
Guilford Co. Information Services 336-641-6235
201 N. Eugene St.
Greensboro, NC 27401
Tommy Thomas - Treasurer
LabCorp 336-436-4178
3060 S. Church St.
Burlington, NC 27215
Ed Webb - Communications Director
SAS Institute Inc. 919-531-4162
SAS Campus Drive
Cary, NC 27513
Meetings
Meetings are scheduled for the first Tuesday evening of each month (except no meeting in January), with optional dinner at 6:15 p.m. and the meeting beginning at 7:00 p.m.
These monthly meetings usually are held at LabCorp’s Center for Molecular Biology and Pathology (CMBP) near the Research Triangle Park (see last page). Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto 1912 T.W. Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn Left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.
Call for Articles
If you have any ideas for speakers, presentations, newsletter articles, or are interested in taking part in a presentation, PLEASE contact one of the Board of Directors with your suggestions.
Newsletter e-Mailings
The SPARTA policy is to e-mail a monthly notice to our SPARTA-RTP Group. The newsletter is posted to the website about five (5) days before each meeting so you can prepare. The SPARTA-RTP Group is maintained by Chris Blackshire; if you have corrections or problems receiving your meeting notice, contact Chris at chrisbl@nc.rr.com.
October 2015 “CBT Tape” Shareware Online
The directory and files from the latest CBT tape V490 (dated October 26, 2015) are available from www.cbttape.org.
If you need help obtaining one or more files, contact Ed Webb at SAS (see Board of Director’s list for contact info).
Minutes of the October 6, 2015 Meeting
•Meeting was called to order at 7:10 PM by Chris Blackshire standing in for Randy Springs, the SPARTA President.
•The meeting was held at LabCorp in RTP, N.C.
•Thirteen (13) people were present of which Eleven (11) are 2015 members.
•Everyone in the room introduced themselves, told
where they worked, and briefly described their job functions or
their job hunting challenges.
•The minutes of the August 2015 meeting was
approved as published in the October newsletter.
•The reading of the Treasurer's Report was given by Tommy Thomas, the Chapter Treasurer, as published in the October newsletter. The current balance of $603.48 was approved as read.
OLD BUSINESS
•Articles are needed for this newsletter. If you want to write an article for this newsletter, please contact Ed Webb. Keep in mind that you don't really need to write the article, it can be an article that you read that you would like to share with the membership.
•The SPARTA Web site is available at http://www.spartanc.org. Please send any comments or suggestions about the Web page to Mike Lockey. Be sure to check the Web site every once in a while to see any new or changed information.
•Tommy reminded everyone to leave the LabCorp
conference room clean.
•Future Speakers and Topics (subject to change based on internal politics, budget, the weather):
|
Date |
Company |
Speaker |
Topic |
|
Nov 3, 2015 |
Watson and Walker |
Cheryl Watson or Frank Kyne |
z Series Performance |
|
Dec 1, 2015 |
BB&T |
Randy Springs |
What's New in Mainframe Performance Tuning -- z/OS, RMF, and Omegamon Updates |
If you have suggestions about speakers and topics, contact Ron Pimblett
(919-833-8426).
•The next SPARTA monthly meeting will be November 3,
2015 at LabCorp in RTP.
•Food for the November 3 meeting will be Pizza.
NEW BUSINESS
•The 2015 dues ($30) were due starting in March
2015. Please pay Tommy Thomas.
•Thanks to LabCorp (Tommy Thomas) for hosting the
meeting.
•There are currently 60 people on the SPARTA-RTP emailing list.
•Send any e-mail address changes to Chris
Blackshire so he can update the SPARTA-RTP Listserv. You will be
added by the moderator (Chris = SPARTA-RTP-owner@yahoogroups.com) sending you an invitation to Join
the list.
•The business portion of the meeting ended about 7:45 p.m.
PRESENTATION
SHARE Orlando in August 2015 by Ed Webb of SAS.
• Agenda
• SHARE August 2015 (August 9-14, 2015), Orlando, Florida
• Agenda
- Why Go to SHARE?
- Odds and Ends
- Best Sessions
- Sessions of Interest
- Migrating to z/OS 2.2
- From the Bit Bucket
- SHARE Status
• Why Go To SHARE?
- 2015 is the 60th Anniversary of SHARE – the Party Continued in Orlando
- IBM preview of z/OS 2.2 functions and late-breaking news
- IBM’s commitment to satisfy 20% of SHARE Core Technology Top 75 Requirements in z/OS 2.2
- Will deliver 25% to 30% per Jeff Magdall, IBM z/OS Product Leader
- Networking with peers and IBM developers and executives re-energizes your z work back home
• Odds and Ends
- Oct. 2013, IBM postponed requiring Secured FTP connections for z/OS software and service delivery
- See February 2013 SPARTA Newsletter for FTPS setup
- Added HTTPS support to SMP/E (available now)
- New Target is 1st Qtr 2016
- August 2015 Hot Topics #29 magazine is a Great Reference for z/OS V2R2 Topics
---http://www-03.ibm.com/systems/z/os/zos/library/hot-topics/hot-topics.html
- Request for Enhancements (RFE) for new suggestions or requirements to IBM
---http://www.ibm.com/developerworks/rfe/
- ISPF is now under Systems and Servers, not under WebSphere “brand”
- SHARE is still working with IBM to connect its Requirements system to RFE
- IBM z13 HMC is last one to support Classic Interface
• Best Sessions That I Attended
- 17985 Mainframe Apathy Virus by Chris O’Malley of Compuware
- - Culture
- - Process
- - Risk
- - Compuware.com to see Videos and White Paper
- 17795 What’s New in z/OSMF 2.2? by Greg Daynes of IBM
- - Greg designed z/OSMF Software Deployment
- - z/OSMF 2.2 Requires Java 7.1 64bit
- - Order the Java with your z/OS 2.2 ServerPac
- - Migration Required from z/OSMF 2.1 or earlier
- - z/OSMF 2.2 Configuration Enhancement
- - IZUPRMxx in PARMLIB
- - IZUPRMxx just has Overrides, not Defaults
- - IZUPRM=(xx,yy,zz) with default IZUPRM=NONE
- 17421 JES2 V2.2 What’s New? by Tom Wasik of IBM
- - Must be at checkpoint level=11 before starting JES2 V2.2
- - Automatic Checkpoint Tuning
- - Adjusts HOLD and DORMANCY based on Workload
- - $TMASDEF,CYCLEMGT=AUTO or MANUAL
- - WSOPT=YES for improved Workload Selection Performance
- - JES2 V2.1 toleration is PTF UA76770
- - Important Security Fixes
- - - OA48306 and OA48307 for ATL/TLS
- - - Put it On! No IPL Required!
- - OA48406 SYSOUT Work Selection performance
- - OA48262 Storage leak
- - OA47043 S0C4 MODE=DUAL
- 17440 z/OS 2.2 User Experience by Ed Jaffe of Phoenix Software
- - DASD required about same as 2.1
- - IEFUSI > PARMLIB after G.A.
- - REGIONX (below,above) 16M line is new
- - SLIP in 2.2 can issue MVS commands
- - SETLOGRC DATASET=dsname to change LOGREC without an IPL
- 17231 ISPF Hidden Treasures Part 2 by Sam Reynolds (IBM RTP)
- - // block command in UDLIST and DSLIST
- - Preliminary z/OS 2.2 stuff
- - ISPTCM updated to remove obsolete commands
- - - Copy, form, format, list, merge, pascalvs
- - VIIF VIEW Interface Service
- - 3.17 File Systems menu like ishell FS menu
- - - Collapsed list, can be expanded
- - Global PACK DISABLE in ISPF Config
- 17425 MVS Core Technologies Project Jeff Magdall of IBM
- - z/OS Directions
- - 318 New z Clients since 2010 and 50% are z/OS
- - Increased Pace of Delivered Function Between Releases
- - Significant changes to SDSF
- - 4Q2015 Update for z/OS 2.2
- - SOD Items before z/OS 2.3 G.A. in 2017
- - z/OS 2.2 is z10 and z/OS 2.3 is z196 or higher
- - z/OS V2 has 5 years of support plus 3 years of fee-based extended support
- - z/OSMF "always on" in 2017
- - - Services always available
- - - Leverage UI's across other z/OS components
- - - Leverage Workflows such as Migration
- - 2 ESP in production on z/OS 2.2 at 60 days prior to G.A.
• Migrating to z/OS 2.2
- 17429 Migrating to z/OS 2.2 (part 1 and 2) by Marna Walle of IBM
- - About 50% of users in session are 1.13, others 2.1
- - KC4z uses WAS Liberty from z/OSMF
- - IBM HTTP Server (Apache) 9.0
- - - Upgraded Apache 2.2 (Ported Tools 8.5) to 2.4 (z/OS 2.2)
- - PARMDD and REGIONX cannot be in your System Symbols because now are JCL keywords
- - PI25913 If UNIT on REFORMAT or INIT then VERIFYOFFLINE is default (ICKDSF)
- - z/OS 1.9 End of Service was Sept. 30, 2010
- - z/OS 1.10 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2011
- - - Two more years (until Sept. 2013) for a fee
- - z/OS 1.11 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2012
- - -Two more years (until Sept. 2014) for a fee
- - z/OS 1.12 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2014
- - z/OS 1.13 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2016
- - z/OS 2.1 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2018
- - z/OS 2.2 End of Service is Sept. 30, 2020
- 17653 Recent Software Pricing Options by Frank Kyne and Cheryl Watson of Watson/Walker
- - Mobile workload May 2014
- - z Co-located Applications Jan 2015
- - Country Multiplex Jul 2015
- - Encourage growth
- - Less expensive to add work
- - Unlikely to reduce current bill
- - R4HA (Rolling 4 Hour Average)
- 17229 From the Bit Bucket x’32’
- - UNDO by Tom Conley
- - - LOCAL Page Data Sets “Rule of Thumb”
- - - If used above 30%, Not Good
- - - Page data sets 2x or 3x Real Memory
- - - All the same Size
- - IBM revised Statement of Integrity by Sam Knutson
- SHARE Status
- - SHARE Attendance Trending Steady
- - 892 Attendees (1062 Total Onsite)
- - 890 in Seattle, 524 in Anaheim, 638 in Boston, 579? in San Francisco, 527 in Anaheim, 612 in Atlanta, 600+ in Orlando, 673 in Anaheim,
- - 238? Member Companies (290? at SHARE Orlando)
- - SHARE Execforum Returns in San Antonio
- - SHARE Live! recorded many sessions in Orlando
- - SHARE Monthly Webinars between Conferences
- - - Registration required but free
- - - Some vendor sponsored
- - 132 SHARE Affiliate Rate is $99 Per Year (no voting)
- - SHARE Select Membership (Annual Corporate) includes SHARE Live! and Archived Sessions
- - SHARE Live! Had 68+ Paid Users (new record!)
- - SHARE 126 is March 2016 in San Antonio
- - SHARE 127 is July 31-August 5, 2016 in Atlanta
- - No Backpacks Given Away for Orlando - Tablet cases instead
- - SHARE Archives at Orlando
- - - Photos and Memorabilia from 1955 and later
- - - Paddles
- - - Skirt (JES2)
- - - Button Coat (donated by Barry Merrill)
- - SHARE website redesign went live in June 2015
- - SHARE Mobile App for iOS and Android
- - - Updated in mid-December 2015 for San Antonio
- - Submit Your Proposal to Speak at SHARE in San Antonio by October 23, 2015
- - SHARE Proceedings
- - - Access Needs SHARE Userid (free)
---www.share.org
• Speaker Contact Information:
Ed Webb
Senior Systems Programmer
SAS
Ed.Webb@sas.com
(919) 531-4162
• The presentation and meeting ended about 8:50 P.M.
Treasurer’s Report for October 2015
contributed by Tommy Thomas
The balance in the account is $603.48 as of October 20, 2015.
SPARTA Financial Report
3/01/2015 through 10/20/2015
|
INCOME |
|
|
|
|
|
Opening Balance |
289.87 |
|
Total Deposits |
|
|
Donation |
50.00 |
|
Dues |
800.00 |
|
TOTAL INCOME |
$1,139.87 |
|
|
|
|
EXPENSES |
|
|
Food |
365.56 |
|
Web Site |
0.00 |
|
Petty Cash |
285.00 |
|
Bank Service Charge |
0.00 |
|
TOTAL EXPENSE |
$650.56 |
|
|
|
|
BANK BALANCE Fidelity |
489.31 |
|
PETTY CASH |
98.45 |
|
TOTAL CASH |
$587.76 |
Items of Interest
SPARTA Schedule and Menu for 2015
contributed by Tommy Thomas and Chris Blackshire
Nov. 3 - Pizza
Dec. 1 - Subs
Five Myths That Can Put Your Mainframe at Risk
contributed by Ed Webb
"The following five myths can compromise the business impact, security and/or performance of your mainframe, so it is important to arm yourself with the truth.
Myth #1: The Mainframe is Dead
Some industry analysts have been predicting the mainframe’s demise since the PC made its debut in the 1980s, deeming it as powerful as the mainframe. Another common misconception is that only “old” people and antiquated companies use the mainframe.
On the contrary, 96 of the world’s top 100 banks and 90 percent of the world’s largest insurance companies all use mainframes. Additionally, 85 percent of all mission-critical applications run on COBOL and the mainframe. And finally, the mainframe contributes to 25 percent of IBM’s revenue and 35 percent of its operating profit. These statistics demonstrate that the technology is clearly still a vital part of the business world."
Read the other four myths here at Enterprise Systems.
RACF: What a A Manager Needs to Know
contributed by Ed Webb
"Nowadays, most RACF administrators report to Chief Information Security Officers (CISOs) who have never worked with z/OS or RACF, and they are being inspected by auditors, both internal and external, who likewise have had little exposure to the mainframe. The RACF administrators we speak with and those who post messages on discussion forums are constantly saying something like "my (fill-in-the-blank) doesn't understand RACF, and this is causing me endless headaches." To address this situation, we took it upon ourselves to write a brief description of RACF that administrators can pass on to their manager and others within the organization who need a basic understanding of RACF's purpose and function. The following overview is the result. Although the overview has just been published on our website, it has already been downloaded many times, and we have received feedback that it has been helpful. We hope you find it helpful, too."
Read this Enterprise Systems Media article for the rest of the article.
IOF R8E Spin 2015275 and IOF R8F Announced to Support z/OS 2.2
contributed by Ed Webb
If you are upgrading to the newest z/OS V2R2, IOF R8E spin level 2015275 is now available.
Release R8F has significant enhancements in addition to support for z/OS V2R2.
If you are currently running IOF R8E spin level 2013316, you can also provide z/OS V2R2 support by applying all the maintenance on the current IOF cumulative fix (CUMFIX) file.
The Triangle Systems link for more info is here.
SHARE Registration and Hotel Reservations for San Antonio in Feb.-Mar. 2016
contributed by Ed Webb
SHARE is off to San Antonio, Texas for its winter meeting February 28-March 04, 2016. And Early Bird Registration and Hotel Reservations can be made now.
Tip: If there's any chance your employer will send you to SHARE in San Antonio, book your room now (there's no charge and no penalty if you cancel in time). Rooms at the SHARE rate go faster than plane seats or registrations.
See the San Antonio details at SHARE.
IBM Education Assistance for z/OS V2.2 Goodies
contributed by Ed Webb
Marna Walle of IBM has posted a couple of items of interest to z Systems Programmers.
"We've got about 100 small, and maybe not so small, education modules about specific line items in z/OS V2.2. These education modules are complete in that you can find out everything you needed to know about that one item in a single location. This is different than the way you might have been learning about new functions in the operating system previously: looking up in the Introduction and Release Guide about what is new, then digging around in one or several books to get the complete picture of what the function is."
Her blog post about a series of Assistance modules for changes in z/OS 2.2 is here
or go directly to the modules here.
"...if you are like me, you want to have all the z/OS V2.2 PDFs handy. As you might have heard me say, I'm a heavy PDF user nowadays :). Well, the newly zipped up file of all the z/OS V2.2 books is available! Go to the IBM Publications Center (http://www-05.ibm.com/e-business/linkweb/publications/servlet/pbi.wss). The key piece of information you'll need is the publication number for the "ZIP of 7/28 IBM z/OS V2R2 PDF Documentation". That publication number is SC27-8430; search on this number. Right now, it's at the -00 level for this zip."
Be sure to review the Indexes Demystified comment in the V2.2 PDFs post for cool new indexing capabilities.
Humor
Computer Geek Jokes
contributed by Chris Blackshire
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.
An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”
“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
“Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…”
The civil engineer breaks in:
“But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.”
The programmer thinks a bit and then says:
“And who do you think created chaos?”
A logician tells a colleague his wife just had a baby.
– Is it a boy or a girl?
– Yes.
A cop pulls over Werner Heisenberg and says, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg responds, “NO, but I know EXACTLY where I am.”
Lotteries are a tax on people who suck at math.
COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer: hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’...
- - -
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."
- - -
Computer Terms - Texas Translation:
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle.
You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when....
1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.
2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.
5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.
6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.
8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.
9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.
10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you landscape.
11. Your family always knows where you are.
12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL".
13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!
You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When...
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened.
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
· All of your friends have an @ in their names.
· Your dog has its own home page.
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
· You wake up at 3 AM to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher."
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg.
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:
Gurin's Grins
contributed by Chris Blackshire
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
When chemists die, apparently they barium.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded the dough.
Velcro - what a rip off !
Don’t Forget the Next SPARTA Meeting
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
7 p.m.
Location: LabCorp in RTP
Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto 1912 T.W. Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.
Free Food: Pizza
Program:
IBM WAVE for z/VM
Speaker:
Paul Novak of IBM
SPARTA News
P.O. Box 13194
Research Triangle Park, NC 27709-3194
First Class Postage
SPARTA Corporate Sponsors:
