SPARTA News July 2006

July 2006

SPARTA President’s Corner

by Brad Carson

Welcome to another hot steamy July in North Carolina. Of course with all this heat I’ve been having fun with our home AC system (I thought it was trying to shake itself to pieces). At least it’s working now and I’m just a little bit poorer!

Our proof of concept project with the university’s Alumni Development application was successful for the online part, however we had a few issues with batch. Now that we have been able to do this, we are planning on performing a full DR restore of the OIT mainframe in our test LPAR. More fun to come. We have managed to relocate OIT’s old Shark to the Fitzpatrick building; we are planning on using this unit for the OIT restore and to juggle some of our volumes around while we convert them to mod-9’s or mod-27’s. Along with all that we are beginning the work for our next z/OS upgrade (should be 1.8 when it comes out in late September).

One fun thing I was allowed to do this month is take a class on working with VMware ESX servers. It seems that I’m the person on staff that has the most experience working with and understanding Virtual Machines. I’m looking forward to working with VM in one form or another again.

Over at DDA things have been quiet, so I haven’t been doing too much there. They are still getting settled into their new digs. When we had all the rain last month DDA had to shutdown because of flooding from Crabtree creek! The equipment was all high and dry, you just couldn’t get to the building.

This month our speaker will be Gerald Mitchell from IBM to talk to us about HATS (Host Access Transformation Services). I look forward to seeing you all at LabCorp on the 25th.

P.S. BarBQ, drinks, and dessert will be provided.


Future Speakers
(subject to change)

July 25 - Host Access Transformation Services (HATS) by IBM
August 29 - Review of Baltimore SHARE by Duane Reaugh and Brad Carson

We need ideas and volunteers for future speakers. Presentations don’t have to be fancy, just informative and interesting. Even a 5 or 10 minute talk can start an interesting interaction. Contact Ron Pimblett by phone as noted below.

2006-2007 SPARTA
Board of Directors

Brad Carson - President
Duke Health Technology Solutions 919-668-0545
2424 Ervin Road, Suite 9000
Durham, NC 27710

Ron Pimblett - Vice President
Dignus, LLC 919-676-0847
8354 Six Forks Road
Raleigh, NC 27615

Mike Lockey - Secretary
Guilford Co. Information Services 336-641-6235
201 N. Eugene St.
Greensboro, NC 27401

Tommy Thomas - Treasurer
LabCorp 336-436-4178
231 Maple Ave, Koury Ctr 3rd Fl. 919-361-7267
Burlington, NC 27215

Ed Webb - Communications Director
SAS Institute 919-531-4162
SAS Campus Drive
Cary, NC 27513

Meetings

Meetings are scheduled for the last Tuesday evening of each month (except no meeting in December), with optional dinner at 6:15 p.m. and the meeting beginning at 7:00 p.m.

These monthly meetings usually are held at LabCorp’s Center for Molecular Biology and Pathology (CMBP) near the Research Triangle Park (see last page). Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn Left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.

Call for Articles

If you have any ideas for speakers, presentations, newsletter articles, or are interested in taking part in a presentation, PLEASE contact one of the Board of Directors with your suggestions.

Newsletter e-Mailings

The SPARTA policy is to e-mail a monthly notice to our SPARTA-L Group. The newsletter is posted to the website about five (5) days before each meeting so you can prepare. The SPARTA-L Group is maintained by Mike Lockey at (336) 641-6235; if you have corrections or problems receiving your meeting notice, contact Mike.

February 2006 CBT Tape Online

The directory and files from the latest CBT tape V471 (dated February 28, 2006) are available from www.cbttape.org.

If you need help obtaining one or more files, contact Brad Carson at Duke Health or Ed Webb at SAS (see Board of Director’s list for contact info).

Minutes of the June 27th, 2006 Meeting

•Meeting was called to order at 7:03 PM by Brad Carson, the Chapter President.

•Eleven (11) people were present; nine (9) were members.

•Everyone in the room introduced themselves, told where they worked, and briefly described their job function and recent happenings at work.

•The minutes of May 2006 meeting were accepted as published in the June 2006 newsletter.

•Tommy Thomas, the Chapter Treasurer, gave the Treasurer's report. As of June 16, 2006, the balance is $1536.58. Motion was made and approved to accept the Treasurer's Report as published in the June 2006 newsletter.

OLD BUSINESS

•Articles are needed for this newsletter. If you would like to write an article for this newsletter, please contact Ed Webb. Keep in mind that you don't really need to write the article; it can be an article that you read that you would like to share with the membership.

•The SPARTA Web site is available. To access the SPARTA Web site, point your Web browser to this URL: http://www.spartanc.org. Please send any comments or suggestions about the Web site to Mike Lockey. Be sure to check the site every once in a while to see any new or changed information.

•Brad Carson reminded everyone to keep the conference room clean.


NEW BUSINESS

•Future Speakers and Topics:
(subject to change)

July 2006 Host Access Transformation Services (HATS) by IBM
August 2006 Review of Baltimore SHARE by Duane Reaugh and Brad Carson

•Future Topics and Possible Sources
SOA Software for z/OS by Relativity Technologies
Tivoli
Computer Associates
BMC

If you have suggestions about speakers and topics, contact Ron Pimblett.

•The July 25, 2006 SPARTA meeting will be held at LabCorp in RTP.

•Food for the July meeting will be BarBQ, drinks and dessert

•Thanks to Tommy Thomas of LabCorp for hosting the meeting.

•The business portion of the meeting ended at 8:05 p.m.

•Paul Smith and Keith Robertson of IBM spoke about using Tivoli Omegamon XE for monitoring the performance of your IP network from the mainframe.

•Please checkout the Powerpoint presentation that has been saved by Mike Lockey on our SPARTA Web Site.

•The meeting was adjourned at 9:10 p.m.

Treasurer’s Report for June 2006

contributed by Tommy Thomas

(Ed. Note: No report available at press time for July 2006)

The balance in the account is $ 1675.17 as of June 14, 2006.

Financial Report
3/01/2006 through 06/14/2006

Items of Interest

SPARTA Schedule and Menu for 2006

contributed by Tommy Thomas and Chris Blackshire

July 25 - BarBQ
Aug. 29 - Pizza
Sept. 26 - Chicken
Oct. 31 - Subs
Nov. 28 - BarBQ


Redbooks: All Worth A Look

contributed by Ed Webb

Redbooks

Data Integrity with DB2 for z/OS
Published: July 10, 2006 ISBN: 0738495547 272 pages Explore the book online at http://www.redbooks.ibm.com/abstracts/sg247111.html

DB2 9: pureXML Overview and Fast Start
Published: July 13, 2006 ISBN: 073849557 128 pages Explore the book online at http://www.redbooks.ibm.com/abstracts/sg247298.html


Humor


How To Clean Your House

contributed by Chris Blackshire

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly......

7. Feel better?

Works for me!


How Old Are You?

contributed by Chris Blackshire

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really !? Like a newborn baby !?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkups, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream ?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top,too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it ?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down ?" she asks. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake !" Then he
toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?"

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married ?" "Yep!" "Do I know her ?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good looking ?" "Not really." "Is she a good cook ?" "Naw, she can't cook too well." "Does she have lots of money ?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse." "Well, then, is she good in bed ?" "I don't know." "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" "Because she can still drive!"

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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it ?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday !" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it ?" "Twelve thirty."

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"

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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis."

How Many of the Following Do You Know?

contributed by Chris Blackshire

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say ...... a e i o u).

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue (but who really cares?)

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

THERE !!

Now You Know Everything !!!

Membership Information

Don’t Forget the Next SPARTA Meeting

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Location: LabCorp in the RTP

Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.

Free Food: BarBQ, Drinks, Dessert

Program:

Host Access Transformation Services (HATS)

Speaker:

Gerald Mitchell of IBM

SPARTA News
P.O. Box 13194
Research Triangle Park, NC 27709-3194



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