SPARTA News July 2004

July 2004

SPARTA Chapter President’s Corner

- by Brad Carson

July brings us the "Triple H" of summer, Hazy, Hot, and Humid. It has been so hot that my wife and I have started taking our daily walks in the morning to try and beat the heat. Trying to walk in the afternoon or early evening was making us feel like we've been through a wringer.
Over at DHTS I'm working in automation (what again!) using the BMC's Mainview AutoOPERATOR. I haven't used Mainview since we de-installed it at LabCorp back in late 2001. We're trying to automate most of the day-to-day tasks on our z/OS 1.4 systems, and have seen a number of repetitive tasks that our operators are doing. We are also integrating alerts from Mainview for z/OS and CICS into automation to try and be a little more proactive when resources are being abused.
Another project on the list is our DR test scheduled for the end of October, we have a little over two months to revise our DR test script. We are working toward reducing the amount of time needed to get our core system running (everything but CICS, IMS, DB2, and Model 204). What is new this time is an RMM controlled ATL and VTL (i.e. 3494). So we are working this in to the plan as well as planning for a parallel sysplex configuration. Always lots to do.
This month our speaker will be Jim Walker from Triangle Systems, he will be talking to us about the upcoming changes in IOF. I look forward to seeing you all on the 27th at LabCorp RTP. Be sure to ask for Tommy Thomas. Pizza, drinks, and dessert will be provided.


Future Speakers
(subject to change)


July 27 - IOF 7 Features and Futures by Jim Walker of Triangle Systems
Aug. 31 - StorageTek News


We need ideas and volunteers for future speakers. Presentations don’t have to be fancy, just informative and interesting. Even a 5 or 10 minute talk can start an interesting interaction. Contact Duane Reaugh by phone as noted below.

2004-2005 SPARTA
Board of Directors

Brad Carson - President
Duke Health Technology Services 919-286-6392
2200 West Main Street, Suite 450
Durham, NC 27705

Duane Reaugh - Vice President
DTS Software 919-833-8426
2913 Wake Forest Road
Raleigh, NC 27609-7841

Mike Lockey - Secretary
Guilford Co. Information Services 336-641-6235
201 N. Eugene St. 336-227-2021 (Home)
Greensboro, NC 27401

Tommy Thomas - Treasurer
LabCorp 336-436-4178
231 Maple Ave, Koury Ctr 3rd Fl. 919-361-7267
Burlington, NC 27215

Ed Webb - Communications Director
SAS Institute 919-531-4162
SAS Campus Drive 919-362-0232 (Home)
Cary, NC 27513

Meetings

Meetings are scheduled for the last Tuesday evening of each month (except no meeting in December), with optional dinner at 6:15 p.m. and the meeting beginning at 7:00 p.m.

These monthly meetings usually are held at LabCorp’s Center for Molecular Biology and Pathology (CMBP) near the Research Triangle Park (see last page). Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn Left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.

Call for Articles

If you have any ideas for speakers, presentations, newsletter articles, or are interested in taking part in a presentation, PLEASE contact one of the Board of Directors with your suggestions.

Newsletter Mailings

The SPARTA chapter policy is to mail a copy of the monthly chapter newsletter to each SPARTA member, NaSPA national, each advertiser, persons who have requested a copy, and to other chapters who send us a copy of their newsletter. The newsletter is mailed about the 20th of each month so you can prepare for the meeting. The mailing list is maintained by Mike Lockey at (336) 641-6235; if you have corrections or problems receiving your newsletter, call Mike.

May 2004 CBT Tape Online

The directory and files from the latest CBT tape V465 (dated May 2, 2004) are available from www.cbttape.org.

If you need help obtaining one or more files, contact Brad Carson at Duke Health or Ed Webb at SAS (see Board of Director’s list for contact info).

Minutes of the June 29th, 2004 Meeting

•Meeting was called to order at 7:00 PM by Brad Carson, the Chapter President.

•Nine (9) people were present; eight (8) were members.

•Everyone in the room introduced themselves, told where they worked, and briefly described their job function.

•The minutes of May 2004 meeting were accepted as published in the June 2004 newsletter.

•Tommy Thomas, the Chapter Treasurer, gave the Treasurer's report.

As of June 29, 2004, the balance is $1416.06. Motion was made and approved to accept the Treasurer's Report.

OLD BUSINESS

•Articles are needed for this newsletter. If you would like to write an article for this newsletter, please contact Ed Webb. Keep in mind that you don't really need to write the article, it can be an article that you read that you would like to share with the membership.

•The SPARTA Web page is available. To access the SPARTA Web page, point your Web browser to this site: http://www.spartanc.org. Please send any comments or suggestions about the Web page to Mike Lockey. Be sure to check the Web page every once in a while to see any new or changed information.

•Brad reminded everyone to continue keeping the conference room clean.


NEW BUSINESS

•Future Speakers and Topics:
(subject to change)

July 2004 Cornerstone
August 2004 STK New Products
Sept. 2004 SHARE Conference Reports

If you have suggestions about speakers and topics, contact Duane Reaugh.

•Thanks to Tommy Thomas of LabCorp for hosting the June meeting.

•The July SPARTA meeting will be held at LabCorp in RTP.

•Food for the July meeting will be Pizza, soda and dessert.

•The business portion of the meeting ended at 7:40PM.

•Dan Myers of IBM talked about IBM's April 7 announcement of the z890 processor.

Some of the topics Dan discussed were:

z890 Functions and Features

z890 System Overview

zSeries Application Assist Processor (zAAP or AAP)

z890 Hardware Upgrades

z800 to z890 upgrades

Availability Dates

z890 Processor Unit Design

z890 Memory Planning

The meeting ended at 8:30 p.m.

Treasurer’s Report for July 2004

contributed by Tommy Thomas

The balance in the account is $ 1416.06 as of July 19, 2004.

Financial Report
2/01/2004 through 07/19/2004

Items of Interest

SPARTA Food Menu for 2004

contributed by Chris Blackshire

July - Pizza
Aug. - Chicken
Sept. - Subs
Oct. - BarBQ
Nov. - Pizza


Humor


Abbott and Costello “Who’s On First?” Update

Contributed by Chris Blackshire

Lou Costello Tries to Buy a Computer from Bud Abbott

ABBOTT (behind the counter at: Super Duper computer store): Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a my proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2. 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

ABBOTT: Of course.

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

ABBOTT: Real One.

COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOTT: The blue "1."

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

ABBOTT: Click on "START".........


Hollywood Squares

Contributed by Duane Reaugh

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh

Membership Information

Don’t Forget the Next SPARTA Meeting

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Location: LabCorp in the RTP

Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Tommy Thomas. Tommy will escort you to the conference room.

Free Food: Pizza, Drinks, Dessert

Program :

IOF Features and Futures

Speaker:

Jim Walker of Triangle Systems

SPARTA News
P.O. Box 13194
Research Triangle Park, NC 27709-3194












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