SPARTA News January 2003
January 2003
SPARTA Chapter President’s Corner
- by Brad Carson
Welcome to 2003. I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and received the gifts that they wanted. I managed to survive the big ice storm and an anniversary trip to San Francisco during the month of December. The ice storm left us without power at home for 3+ days and at for 5+ days here at LabCorp. We were lucky we had a friend that lived near REX Hospital that got power back early, so we had some place warm to stay.
Our November meeting brought us a review of SAS's upgrade to z/OS 1.3 by Ed Webb. Ed reviewed the steps that SAS had taken to get z/OS 1.3 installed. He pointed out some of the problems that SAS tripped over during the installation, as well as some of the new features available in z/OS (which we'll never see while we have this HDS Skyline machine). As always Ed gave us an informative real world look at the installation of IBM's z/OS software. Ed also treated us to a replay of the 60 Minutes interview of SAS founder and President Jim Goodnight. I was glad to finally see this since I missed it due to an oncall issue when it aired on CBS.
Here at LabCorp we have begun the installation of OS/390 2.10 (the last release supported by our HDS system). I am happy to see that the Serverpac dialogs are getting more and more mature. We are also still moving forward with the conversion from OMC-Print to VPS. This month we had to say a tearful goodbye to the STARTOOL suite from Serena. It was removed due to costs, so we are now using the PDS command from the CBT web site (with all its friends). So much for keeping good useful tools around.
This month we will have a presentation on 31-bit objects in a 64-bit world by Dignus Software. I look forward to seeing you all on the 28th at LabCorp RTP. BarBQ, drinks, and dessert will be provided.
Remember: Dues for 2003 are payable at the January meeting!
Future Speakers
(subject to change)
Jan. 28 31-bit Objects in a 64-bit World by Dave Rivers of Dignus
Feb. 25 To Be Announced
We need ideas and volunteers for future speakers. Presentations don’t have to be fancy, just informative and interesting. Even a 5 or 10 minute talk can start an interesting interaction. Contact Duane Reaugh by phone or e-mail as noted below.
2002-2003 SPARTA
Board of Directors
Brad Carson - President
LabCorp 919-572-7504
1912 Alexander Drive
Research Triangle Park, NC 27709
Duane Reaugh - Vice President
DTS Software 919-833-8426
2913 Wake Forest Road
Raleigh, NC 27609-7841
Mike Lockey - Secretary
Guilford Co. Information Services 336-412-6235
201 N. Eugene St. 336-227-2021 (Home)
Greensboro, NC 27401
Tommy Thomas - Treasurer
LabCorp 336-436-4178
231 Maple Ave, Koury Ctr 3rd Fl. 919-572-7507
Burlington, NC 27215
Ed Webb - Communications Director
SAS Institute 919-531-4162
SAS Campus Drive 919-362-0232 (Home)
Cary, NC 27513
Meetings
Meetings are scheduled for the last Tuesday evening of each month (except no meeting in December), with optional dinner at 6:15 p.m. and the meeting beginning at 7:00 p.m.
These monthly meetings are held at LabCorp’s Center for Molecular Biology and Pathology (CMBP) near the Research Triangle Park (see last page). Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn Left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Brad Carson. Brad will escort you to the conference room.
Call for Articles
If you have any ideas for speakers, presentations, newsletter articles, or are interested in taking part in a presentation, PLEASE contact one of the Board of Directors with your suggestions.
Newsletter Mailings
The SPARTA chapter policy is to mail a copy of the monthly chapter newsletter to each SPARTA member, NaSPA national, each advertiser, persons who have requested a copy, and to other chapters who send us a copy of their newsletter. The newsletter is mailed about the 20th of each month so you can prepare for the meeting. The mailing list is maintained by Mike Lockey at (336) 412-6235; if you have corrections or problems receiving your newsletter, call Mike.
Jan. 2003 CBT Tape Online
The directory and files from the latest CBT tape V456 (dated January 12, 2003) are available from www.cbttape.org.
If you need a complete tape, contact Brad Carson at LabCorp or Ed Webb at SAS (see Board of Director’s list for contact info).
Minutes of the November 19th, 2002 Meeting
•Meeting was called to order at 7:00 PM by Brad Carson, the Chapter President.
•Fourteen (14) people were present; eleven (11) were members.
•Everyone in the room introduced themselves, told where they worked, and briefly described their job function.
•Minutes of the October 2002 meeting were accepted as published in the November 2002 newsletter.
•Tommy Thomas, the Chapter Treasurer, gave the Treasurer’s report. As of November 19, 2002, the balance is $828.95.
OLD BUSINESS
•Articles are needed for this newsletter. If you would like to write an article for this newsletter, please contact Ed Webb. Keep in mind that you don’t really need to write the article, it can be an article that you read that you would like to share with the membership.
•The SPARTA Web page is now available. To access the SPARTA Web page, point your Web browser to this site: www.netpath.net/~mlockey/sparta.html. Please send any comments or suggestions about the Web page to Mike Lockey (mlockey@netpath.net). Be sure to check the Web page every once in a while to see any new or changed information.
•Brad reminded everyone to keep the conference room clean; wipe off the conference table and remove all trash when the meeting is over.
NEW BUSINESS
•Future Speakers and Topics:
January 2003 - TBA
February 2003 - TBA
March 2003 - TBA
Other ideas:
- New release of IOF - Triangle Systems
- TDMF - Ken Frump
- CMG Conference - Jim Horne of Lowes
- UNIX Services for OS/390
- IBM New Announcements
- CICS Web Bridge
If you have suggestions about speakers and topics, contact Duane Reaugh.
•Food for the January 2003 meeting will be BarBQ, sodas, and dessert.
•The January SPARTA meeting will be held at LabCorp in RTP.
•Thanks to Ed Webb of SAS for hosting the November meeting.
•Brad Carson talked about needing to find a new host site for the SPARTA LISTSERV. It is currently hosted by YAHOO and is difficult to administer.
•Mike Lockey talked about moving the SPARTA web site from Netpath to Road Runner. It would be desirable to find one host site to have both the LISTSERV and the web site.
•The business portion of the meeting ended at 7:45 p.m.
•Ed Webb talked about the recent migration from OS/390 R10 to z/OS R3 at SAS Institute. Topics discussed were:
Migrating from OS/390 R10 to z/OS R3
Migration Overview
SAS Enterprise Servers Configuration
Migration Path Decision - Why and When
Pre-ServerPac Planning and Actions
ServerPac Installation
ServerPac "bugs"
ServerPac Enhancement Requests
Build z/OS Test System
Common Operational Data Sets with R10
Master Catalog Updates
PARMLIB Changes
PROCLIB Changes
Post-ServerPac Changes
Post-Implementation Changes
Future Plans
IBM has many migration guides available on their web site.
•The meeting was adjourned at 8:50 PM.
Treasurer’s Report for January 2003
contributed by Tommy Thomas
The balance in the account is $ 828.95 as of January 12, 2003.
Financial Report
3/01/2002 through 01/12/2003
INCOME
Opening Balance 693.15
Dues 490.00
Misc. 11.00
TOTAL INCOME $1194.15
EXPENSES
Food 302.25
Petty Cash 160.00
Bank Service Fees 21.00
P.O. Box 38.00
TOTAL EXPENSE $521.25
BANK BALANCE 672.90
PETTY CASH($160) 80.55
TOTAL CASH $753.45
Items of Interest
What is a Mainframe?
contributed by Ed Webb
What is a mainframe? It is “an obsolete device still used by thousands of obsolete companies serving billions of obsolete customers and making huge obsolete profits for their obsolete shareholders. And this year’s run twice as fast as last year’s.” Isham Research’s Devil’s IT Dictionary
SPARTA Food Agenda for 2003
contributed by Chris Blackshire
Jan - BarBQ
Feb - Pizza
Mar - Chicken
Apr - Deli tray (something different for the sub rotation turn)
May onward - repeat BarBQ, Pizza, Chicken, sub rotation
Humor
Mainframe Jokes
contributed by Ed Webb
Making light of mainframes, MIPS and more: Best IT jokes of 2002
By Edward Hurley, News Writer
23 Dec 2002, SearchSystemsManagement.com
When you consider the computer professional, comedy is about the last thing that comes to mind. Intense, smart and technical are obvious attributes. But how funny can acronyms, code and viruses be?
Turns out they can be plenty amusing, in the right hands. Self-deprecating and ironic, IT pros have their own industry standards for humor, and they managed to keep their wits about them in 2002, when the industry had little to laugh about.
While many of the jokes traded by IT pros rely on insider knowledge, some of them also play off popular culture. For example, have you heard of the Oprah Winfrey virus? Your 200-megabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 megabytes and then blows back up to 300 megabytes.
Most IT jokes do, though, require an appreciation for the IT world. Manipulating the acronyms that have swamped the industry is one way computer professionals amuse themselves.
Here is a list of alternative meanings for some common IT acronyms:
WWW -- World Wide Wait
COBOL -- Completely Obsolete Business-Oriented Language
CD-ROM -- Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 -- Obsolete Soon, Too
MIPS -- Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
LISP -- Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
RISC -- Reduced Into Silly Code
SCSI -- System Can't See It
DOS -- Defective Operating System
BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM -- I Blame Microsoft
DEC -- Do Expect Cuts
The list above makes obvious that mainframes are often the butt of many jokes. Unfortunately, many of the people who make jokes about mainframes wouldn't know a System/390 from an AS/400. Here are some tests for figuring out whether a system is a mainframe:
If you could kill someone by tipping it over on them, it might be a mainframe.
If the only "mouse" it has is the one living inside it, it might be a mainframe.
If you need earth-moving equipment to relocate it, it might be a mainframe.
If it has ever had a card punch designed for it, it might be a mainframe.
If it weighs more than an RV, it might be a mainframe.
If lights in the neighborhood dim when it's powered up, it might be a mainframe.
If its disk platters are big enough to cook pizzas on, it might be a mainframe.
If keeping all of the manuals together creates a fire hazard, it might be a mainframe.
If it's ever been mistaken for a refrigerator (or if the disk drive has ever been mistaken for a washing machine), it might be a mainframe.
If anyone has ever frozen to death in the room where it's kept, it might be a mainframe.
If the operators considered the addition of COBOL to be an upgrade, it might be a mainframe.
If it was designed before you were born, it might be a mainframe.
If its main power cable is thicker than your neck, it might be a mainframe.
If the designers have since died from old age, it might be a mainframe.
Other sources of inspiration for computer industry jokes are the unique personalities of certain IT types. For example, here is what various computer geeks and G-men might say when presented with a glass half full of milk:
Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
Pentium users: I drank Glass *.49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Windows users: Where's my straw?
Unix users: Nah, too easy.
Multimedia author: [slurp!]
Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
NSA: We know what it really is.
Copy-protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind.
Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
Apple user: You guys really ought to be drinking Perrier.
IBM fan: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
IRS: Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.
Now, even serious matters such as computer viruses have become fodder for jokes. Here are a list of viruses that aren't likely to appear in any security advisories anytime soon:
Titanic virus -- Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus -- Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Woody Allen virus -- Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Saddam Hussein virus -- Won't let you into any of your programs.
Spice Girl virus -- Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
AT&T virus -- Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus -- Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Politically correct virus -- Never calls itself a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Texas virus -- Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Health care virus -- Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
Don’t Forget the Next SPARTA Meeting
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Location: LabCorp in the RTP
Take I-40 to Miami Boulevard and go north. Turn right onto Alexander Drive. Go about a mile or so. Then turn right into LabCorp complex and turn left to the CMBP Building. In the lobby, sign in as a visitor to see Brad Carson. Brad will escort you to the conference room.
Free Food: Deli Tray, Drinks, Dessert
Program:
31-bit Objects in a 64-bit World
Speakers:
Dave Rivers of Dignus
SPARTA News
P.O. Box 13194
Research Triangle Park, NC 27709-3194
First Class Postage
Phillips Software
